January 31, 2008

Be Kind Rewind Trailer - The Gondry Edition

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Just how far inward can you loop a mirror within a mirror concept before it self-destructs taking the whole universe with it or forming some sort of strange and bizarre mobius loop? Michael Gondry’s movie Be Kind Rewind began with a Hollywood movie about two guys who are forced to manually remake every movie in the store when the movies get erased. So of course the kind of guy who would film himself supposedly solving a rubik’s cube with his toes, run it backward, is the kind of guy who would add another level to it, with the above trailer where Gondry himself has to remake the trailer for Be Kind Rewind all on his own. It’s kind of funny but it hits the line where you wonder if it’s genuinely funny or the kind of abstract French humor that’s all on a loop of its own by now.

Nobody Sees Oscar

A post title that might in and of itself make a good movie, though not really the point, the AP helpfully notes that nobody much sees Oscar movies anymore. Time Magazine devoted its entertainment column to making the same point, but nobody in the Academy seems to care about the public anymore.

Four of the movies nominated last week for best picture — “Juno,” “Michael Clayton,” “No Country for Old Men” and “There Will Be Blood” — got the so-called “Oscar bump” that comes from audiences checking them out the following weekend. (The sweeping romance “Atonement” dropped slightly.) Still, they’ve only combined to make about $246.3 million domestically.

Uh huh and in point of fact a 100 million of that comes from Juno alone and No Country for Old Men makes up some of the rest. Hardly anyone watched Michael Clayton or There Will Be Blood, despite the fact that it’s a sure winner.

so good it’s almost perfect

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Tap water, it’s one of the seven most disgusting things in the known world and the other six things have tiny legs and pincers and are busy crawling under your sink. That’s no coincidence because tap water is also full of microscopic organisms with a lot of eyes and bad manners not to mention all sorts of chemicals that aren’t good for your health or your employees health or energy level. Bottled water lets you get a better quality of water while saving money on health costs and o premium waters is a good source for highly purified bottled water delivered straight to your home or office and with O Premium Waters’ incredible Esio Beverage System, you don’t even have to use tap water for your tea, coffee or any other drinks, because with the Esio Beverage System you can easily blend the high quality water of O Premium Waters with your drink so you can keep the creepy crawlies out of your digestive system and under the sink where they belong, no matter what you’re drinking. With water issues becoming more and more of an issue, you want clearly clean water and with O Premium Waters, you get water so good it’s almost perfect.

The Star Trek Flashbacks Keep on Coming

Hopefully Star Trek XI under JJ Abrams won’t turn into TNG’s Rascals, but now CA is reporting that there will be 11 year old version of Kirk and apparently a younger version of Spock, according to Cinematical. I guess if the City on the Edge of Forever rumor turned out to be true, well more actually a remake of the animated series Sehlat episode, that would make sense. I guess we could be seeing a Diane Carey’s Best Destiny (novel) style scene similar to the Enterprise pilot Broken Bow of Kirk as a boy before moving on to young Kirk, but at some point the whole thing would just become ridiculous, since we’ve got a present day Spock, an early days flashback and now little kids too? What’s next.

A Cloverfield Sequel is Coming

Did anyone really leave the theater after Cloverfield feeling that they want more of the same? Considering that Cloverfield was basically a long YouTube movie, maybe they should just do Cloverfield 2 as a Direct to YouTube release, but that is presumably not in the works, instead the limited success of Cloverfield has apparently insured that Paramount wants to be in the Cloverfield business badly enough to order a sequel, which will apparently focus on someone else’s perspective of the attack. Which is great because one movie about annoying yuppies stumbling around in the dark with a shaky camera that makes you throw up and in which you hardly ever see the monster and when you do, he’s a collossal letdown, just isn’t enough. Nope you’ve got to do two movies. Now did Cloverfield really bring home the box office bacon so impressively that it’s considered worthwhile to go ahead with a sequel? Considering the massive drop it’s experienced, it’s pretty clear that Cloverfield is no I Am Legend, but yes that’s getting a sequel too.

take the elevator

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Without communications your business is just a collection of disparate offices and individuals going about their uncoordinated rounds and wasting time and money and failing to accomplish the tasks that they should be accomplishing. VOIP has created a communications revolution that has helped put amazing capabilities once reserved for major companies at your disposal and Xpander Communications continues to lead the way in providing you with communications solutions that allow you to use their Call Center VoIP Phone Systems to let your business communications really take off. Forget the hassle and expense of a T1 voice line, with Xpander communications, you don’t have to sink your entire budget into tech support or make your way through grueling delays and technical problems. Xpander Communications gives you a system that is easy to use, easy to manage and easy to integrate with the way your office works right now. Don’t climb the mountain of business communications to get a better view when Xpander Communications lets you take the elevator, because communications should be easy not hard and business communications should be scalable, affordable, convenient and manageable and Xpander Communications offers you all that plus the power of a true VOIP solution.

Steve Jobs 10 million iPhone Dream Dies

Filed under: Uncategorized, Tech

With the rise of the swiss army cellphone, it had to penetrate even Steve Jobs’ comfortably cushioned cranium that the iPod was a piece of dead end technology. After all the video player (which he resisted) and the music player and all the rest can be packaged into a cell phone and are these days. Given a few years to solve the battery problem, work out the interfaces and popularize cell phones some more, the iPod becomes yesterday’s junk. So the answer was the iPhone and the hype was there, but so was the insane cost. The iPhone is an expensive gadget and a status symbol, but not a mass market appliance really, which means Steve Jobs’ sales target of 10 million iPhones was always vastly unrealistic, yet Apple needed to quickly gain market dominance, a hopeless task in a carrier controlled market. With 4 million sold, Apple’s iPhones starts looking a lot like Sony’s PS3 a desperate gambit by a flailing company to gain quick market share to maintain its technological relevance and business model.

The Heath Ledger Soap Opera Continues

Heath Ledger was an unlikely figure for a soap opera, a fairly mediocre actor who didn’t have much in the way of gossip moving around him and whose highest profile role, until he took on the Joker, was as a gay cowboy. Aside from his marriage to ex-Dawson’s Creek star Michelle Williams, he was hardly on anyone’s radar, but that of some lovesick teenage girls. Which makes his growing canonization that much more absurd. The media which had been panting at the bit for Britney Spears to have an overdose or a death, so much so that the obituaries were already in place, had to suffice with Heath Ledger as their dry run for her death. The media vulturism on display is genuinely creepy, ET’s stunt in paying several hundred grand for a video of Heath Ledger apparently drugged was almost as pathetic as their stunt in not releasing it, which reminds you of Larry Flynt buying and not releasing the supposed photos of Jessica Lynch or Huckabee’s infamous negative campaign ad.

protect your rights

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If you have been recently implanted with a Medtronic Sprint Fidelis lead, the law firm of Mark & Associates, P.C. has some extremely important information that you must know. While the Medtronic Sprint Fidelis has been represented as an absolutely reliable product, Medtronic has in fact recalled the Sprint Fidelis leads and currently there is a Medtronic lawsuit under way over the defects and the high failure rate of the Sprint Fidelis. As of now these leads have been shown to be responsible for several deaths due to defects in their design and with the recall underway, the law firm of Mark & Associates, P.C. has already filed a lawsuit against Medtronic on behalf of a man who received repeated shocks and required surgical intervention. The law firm of Mark & Associates, P.C. is aggressively pursuing this case and if you have experienced problems or have questions about your legal rights, please visit medtronicsprintfidelis.com or youhaverights.com to discover what your legal rights are and what the law firm of Mark & Associates, P.C can do to help you protect them and recover any and all damages arising from Medtronics’ neglect.

Domain Tasting on the Way Out

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It may only be a trickle in the vast Yangtze river of spam that chokes the shores of Google’s search results but domain tasting is the source of a lot of the pervasively morphing spam results and frankly killing it is about time. The idea of a refund is valid but the kind of open ended refund combined with Google’s increasing lack of concern for actual search results vs junk has turned domain tasting into a search nightmare. So it may be bad news over in China and India, but ICANN may finally do the right thing and allow at least some kind of floodgates to be applied to spam river. Of course the problem with the morphing spam industry is that when you close one gate, the water just finds a hundred more to flow through and despite criminal prosecution and civil litigation, spam still remains more widespread and prevalent than it has ever been before, unfortunately.

Open Access Looks to be In

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For all the snide threats and rumors spread by the big telcos that open access would keep the auction prices low, the minimum has been met and open access looks to be in. What politicians continually ignore is that the threats of major corporations are hollow when real money is on the line, but at the same time big business loves to play the victim and that’s what Verizon and its ilk were doing here. The bandwidth is just too valuable and the competition in the market is just too fierce for the minimum not to have been met, which is why Kevin Martin was right and his big business affiliated pundits and critics were wrong. America needs major communications reforms to stay relevant and open access as well as Google’s Android are good first steps to making that happen. The big carriers have spent too much time crippling and jailing users that we’re stuck in a backward system that is inhibiting the growth of the cell phone market. Open Access may be the first major brick taken out of the wall since number portability.

city of lights

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If there is one place that is the nerve center of America, the humming buzzing nervous system of the country where the lights never dim and the noise never drops and the fun never stops, it’s Las Vegas. Carved out of the desert by gamblers and mobsters who bet on a long shot and scored the jackpot, a trip to Las Vegas is still one of the more glorious adventures you can have without battling sharks or climbing the slopes of Kilimanjaro and the Las Vegas experience isn’t complete without a stay at one of the top Las Vegas Hotels but no one can show you the right hotel and the right deal, the way Best of Vegas can. Best of Vegas at BestofVegas.com helps you experience Las Vegas the way it was meant to be experience, packaging that glorious riot and cacophony into a coherent itinerary, see the shows and stay at the hotels everyone else has been raving about, whatever you’re there for, Best of Vegas has the right Las Vegas travel experience waiting for you.

Plummer Says Gilliam Will Use a CGI Ledger

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It’s not unprecedented to finish a movie with a dead actor by replacing him with some CGI, it happened with Oliver Reed in Gladiator, but it’s hard to think of a movie where the star was replaced with CGI probably because it hasn’t happened yet. Heath Ledger’s untimely death has raised some serious marketing issues for Dark Knight but it raises more practical issues for Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. On the one hand Gilliam can bring in Johnny Depp to replace Heath Ledger’s scenes, not really a tribute since it wipes the actor out of the movie entirely or try to use CGI and some combination of tricks to leave Ledger in the movie. The problem of course is at that point the focus of the movie ceases to be the movie itself and becomes a way for audiences to wonder whether we’re seeing the real man himself or digital memorex. It may offer a tribute to Ledger but only at the expense of Terry Gilliam trashing his own The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus unless he finds a way to make the loss itself a part of the movie.

Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth going into Production

Filed under: Uncategorized, Books, TV

Kind of odd but apparently Sam Raimi is a fan of the Sword of Truth novels, well someone out there has to be, and is teaming up with ABC for a weekly series on them. Is it just going to be Hercules with a magic sword? Well maybe, maybe not unless they bring back Kevin Sorbo and let him produce the whole thing. Basically Sword of Truth is actually more popular in some places abroad than it is in America and since syndicated series are exported abroad and Hollywood these days is pulling in the dough from shipping our crap off to foreign marks, this makes sense. Unlike Wheel of Time, I imagine the Sword of Truth rights were fairly affordable, the sales insure there’s something of an audience and some brand recognition, episodes will be cranked out on the cheap and Satan will give a great big belly laugh and somewhere Ayn Rand will be turning over, even more so than when Ron Paul ran for President.

always get through the door

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When the ball is in the air and the heat is on the court and the players are moving so fast you expect their Nike sneakers to catch on fire any moment, you want to be there and be part of the moment, watching the play being made and seeing sports history being made before your very own eyes, but if the challenge for the players is making the shot, for you the challenge is getting the tickets so you can see the shot being made. It’s tough getting tickets to premium sporting events, to games and shows, but Premium Seats USA is here to make your dream of being there when that basket is sunk, that solo is sung or that goal is scored, real with tickets to even sold out games, shows and events. Get your New York Giants tickets or your Miami Heat Tickets or your Denver Broncos tickets. Whether it’s a concert or a game or a show, Premium Seats USA gets you in to see it even when the box office tells you they don’t have a single ticket left. So be there before the fat lady sings and get your tickets at Premium Seats USA so you can always get through the door.

You’re not Getting a Dell at a Kiosk

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In sum total, Dell’s attempt to try and imitate Apple with in store kiosks has now reached its end as Dell is shutting down the great kiosk experiment and will simply defer to trying to beg retail stores to carry the bloody things without a kiosk. It’s not clear why Dell thought that having Dell kiosks in stores would even work. Unlike Apple there is no great assembly of people who see a Dell computer and feel the need to go out and try one. The kiosks succeeded for Apple because Apple can market itself as cool and because it was different enough from ordinary computers to draw customers in, but a Dell computer is just another collection of generic PC parts with a logo and the same bloody OS as everything else in the store. A Dell kiosk in a store that already sells its own Windows boxes is silly and redundant. Dell succeeded because it sold computers cheap. It’s just not a kiosk brand.

The HD-DVD Blu Ray War Drags On - Does Anyone Care?

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Right now pretty much everyone has been burned out by the great pointless HD-DVD vs Blu Ray war, even Sony’s CEO Sir Howard Stringer, despite the fact that he appears to be winning an extremely expensive Pyrrhic victory. The latest developments such as they are, continue to favor Blu Ray, which is slowly turning it into the Hillary Clinton of formats, widely hated and yet successful while HD-DVD is morphing into a Huckabee and if this drags on, into a Ron Paul, a format everyone hates but its few fanatical supporters. Of course we aren’t quite done just yet. The latest non-news involves Woolworth’s support for Blu Ray, which means banishing HD DVD from its stores. Considering that there are fewer Woolworth’s around than there are Chris Dodd supporters, that doesn’t mean a whole lot, except that retailers may be finally getting tough with Toshiba and deciding that enough time has been wasted and enough early adoptees have been fleeced, to unite around the format that appears to be winning, so average joe consumer can shell out money for a new Blu Ray.

everything that your vacation was meant to be

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Orlando, Florida is the ultimate family vacation destination, which is why it’s also the ultimately most expensive family vacation destination. With great places like Disney World and Sea World and the Kennedy Space Center, just buying tickets to all them for you and the family, can really make you feel lower than the teacup ride. But at Orlandofuntickets.com, you can save money on
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Guillermo Del Toro to Direct Two Hobbit Movies?

You would have thought that with the ax buried, Peter Jackson could fit his newly svelte self through the door and get the job done. Or bring in Sam Raimi, but no apparently New Line wants Guillermo Del Toro who still is last year’s hot director, which means in Hollywoodspeak, it’s time to attach him to every hot project that’s been sitting for so long it got cold, including another Harry Potter and the two Hobbit movies carved out of the living breathing and bleeding skin of the original novel. Now Guillermo Del Toro is actually a terrible choice for the job, almost as terrible as Tim Burton would be, these are man whose sensibilities are completely wrong for the story and completely out of whack with Tolkiens’. If Peter Jackson wasn’t quite right, Guillermo Del Toro is quite wrong and operating in a while other dimension from the one needed here. It’s a terrible idea, which means in Hollywood that it’s almost certain to happen.

A Nightmare on Elm Street gets a Remake

In the pointless remake news category, Michael Bay (damn you, Michael Bay) along with the folks behind the remakes of Hitcher and Texas Chainsaw Massacre will be producing an utterly senseless and pointless remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. I guess they ran out of sequels, so now we’ll get a remake. Does anyone actually want a remake? Probably not, but in the current atmosphere in Hollywood where remaking anything with name recognition is the name of the game, it’s inevitable. On the semi-bright side though, this means that Star Trek will literally never die, just get much much worse. Considering the anemic Hitcher remake and the lame Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, the formula here will apparently be to cast the CW starlet of the moment, I’m guessing either Kirsten Bell or whoever’s on Gossip Girl and probably top that of by not including Robert Englund or just having him make some sort of retarded cameo appearance. I’ll say it again folks, The Rise of Leslie Vernon.






















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