Why Battlestar Galactica Sucks
It’s not clear why Ron Moore finished up 7 years of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and after a failed stay on Voyager and an embarrassing one on teen soap opera Roswell, decided that recreating the last few seasons of Deep Space Nine was the way to go.
But it’s what he did nonetheless turning the relaunch of Battlestar Galactica along the same well worn ruts in the dirt. Don’t believe me? Try this?
*Long drawn out war that seems hopeless and futile and challenges our morality and sense of ourselves? Check.
*A plot underpinned by convoluted mysticism expressed as vague mystical symbolism, visions and prophetic signs, not actually grounded in any real religious belief. Check again.
*A Six part arc dealing with occupation by the enemy and resistance? Ummm Battlestar Galactica cut it down to four episodes. Written of course by longtime DS9 story editors David Thompson and David Weddle, who serve the same function on Battlestar Galactica.
All the spilled ink on the ‘genius’ of Battlestar Galactica’s 3rd season addressing themes of resistance, collaboration, morality in times of war, etc… etc. ad naseum don’t have the wits to realize they’re praising retreads from a Star Trek spinoff, produced by its old writers. The only thing new Battlestar Galactica has to throw into the mix are weak attempts at recreating scenes from the evening news “look plumes of smoke over grungy warehouses’ as a supposed commentary on Iraq or the LA Riots or the time the Paramount set caught fire.
All it takes is removing the Star Trek label from the show, replacing the talented cast of DS9 with a cast of mostly faceless young attractive actors and making an analogy so dumbed down and obvious that even the most cocaine sniffing Hollywood producers can grasp it, and you’re celebrated for your genius. Anyone can do it.
Want to remake Lost in Space? Easy. We’ll replace the cast with a bunch of fresh faces that wouldn’t look out of place on The Real World, leave in a few adults to keep things ’serious’, throw in nudity and set the whole thing IN IRAQ. See genius? Lost in Space in Iraq! It’s an analogy! It’s visionary! It’s complete crap.
But why stop there? There’s tons of classic Scifi shows begging, just begging I tell you to be re- imagined the same way. Just imagine the Twilight Zone. IN IRAQ! ‘You are journeying beyond the boundaries of imagination, beyond this door lies a place called IRAQ.” Just throw in some oversaturated grainy film and shaky camera work and you’re all done.
Then there’s the Six Million Dollar Man IN IRAQ. SeaQuest DSV IN IRAQ. Small Wonder IN IRAQ. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IN IRAQ. Don’t forget Planet of the Apes IN IRAQ. Follow the human insurgency against the American Ape overlords. “But we just came to rebuild human democracy,” says Dr. Zayus. “Go to hell you damn dirty Yankee ape!” See it’s easy when you know how.
Take Deep Space Nine, subtract the adventure, the encounters with alien lifeforms, the wormhole, the relationships, the comedy (Battlestar Galactica is funny like a hole in the head), the sense of fun and the travel to other planets and you’re left with Battlestar Galactica. Subtract Adama and Tigh and you’re left with The Real World: Battlestar Galactica edition. Can the housemates get along with their new Cylon buddies. Who the hell cares anyway?
Me? I’m still waiting for Ron Moore to reimagine Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles myself.
Shredder: Give it up turtles, your insurgency is defeated and soon we will tackle the complexity of tasks involved in rebuilding your damaged sewer infrastructure.
Michaelangelo: Never! The ninja turtle insurgency will resist your sewer occupation to the last pizza breath!
Raphael: Wait, I’m having vague mystical visions of something with tilting camera angles and possibly Pizza. But I’m sure it points a way towards our true destiny.
Thank you Mr. Ronald D. Moore. That was unambiguously a work of true genius.
![](http://i26.tinypic.com/2ns73sx.jpg")
![](http://i31.tinypic.com/x60owm.jpg")
Stumble it!
A little bitter are we. DS9 was poorly acted and had the look of an under budgeted 80’s sifi movie.
Comment by FullClip — October 31, 2006 @ 8:23 pm
Get real. DS9 had a bigger budget than BSG. It had actual sets as opposed to small rooms that actually do look like they’re taken from an 80’s movie or ramshackle camps or the woods of Vancouver. Compare the DS9 Promenade to the BSG Bridge. Enough said.
As for poorly acted. Ummm let’s see. Calling a cast that included Armin Shimmerman, Rene Auberjonois, Andrew Robinson and Colm Meany of being poor actors is just retarded, especially from a BSG fan. For goodness sake, DS9’s weakest actor wound up on BSG where he’s considered the strongest performer.
Comment by O_Deus — October 31, 2006 @ 8:51 pm
Hmm, Battlestar Galactica is one of the best sci fi shows ever. Which is why when you google “battlestar galactica best show” You get hundreds of hits of critics giving it rave reviews. When you google “battlestar galactica sucks” You don’t get too many hits except some renegade forums like this. Do the math
Comment by grizz — December 28, 2006 @ 3:48 am
every scifi show is the best ever to its die hard fans
as far as your argument goes, Titanic got hundreds of great critic’s reviews, so did Cats. And there’s a lot more Titanic Was Great sites than Titanic Sucks sites.
And this proves what exactly?
Comment by O_Deus — December 28, 2006 @ 6:46 am
Would you care to point out to me which of DS9’s actors ended up riding on Battlestar Galactica as the ’strongest perfomer’? Because if it’s the person I think you’re referring to, you need to go back to reviewers school and/or have your facial recognition software routines upgraded.
Comment by Sonj — January 11, 2007 @ 10:13 am
Actually there’s a lot wrong with the series and I am surprised there isn’t more critique of the show. Then again, maybe it’s just too easy.
First, it’s sad to see the third season flounder into single episode genre cliches, but you could see it coming. However, more importantly, the fanatical loyalty of BSG fans is completely disproportionate to the show’s extremely threadbare vision. Moreover, the show and the universe in which it inhabits represents a serious erosion of imaginative science fiction storytelling.
The most irritating example of this is that the characters have English names and all the characters act like 21st century Americans. Since at least 3000 years have separated the 13 tribes, how the hell can this even be reasonably explained? Even Firefly and Star Trek which extend Earth history several centuries into the future show more cultural evolution than the drab militaristic universe of BSG. And where the hell did the Hummer come from on old Caprica?
Now the director and producers probably followed the extremely low science fiction convention deliberately, but it really makes BSG even more unbelievable and irritable. And very few characters are actually likeable. In fact most are walking cliches.
Comment by ceti — March 10, 2007 @ 6:52 pm
True, at this point even the Cylon menace is basically gone and without that the show has become an outright soap… the love lives of kara and apollo were a particularly low point for the series
the mythology is scrambled and the show has been devoid of imagination from the start sticking to the 20th century right down to people wearing suits and ties
Comment by O_Deus — March 11, 2007 @ 1:38 am
I enjoyed Battlestar profusely until right after the Pegaus arc. I liked the New Caprica and Baltar’s trial a lot to. But almost all of the middle of season 3 was totally forgettable.
I saw a bunch of similarities, but ultimately didn’t mind them. But then just today I saw a spoiler here (don’t click on it if you don’t want to read it) for episode 4 of season 4 that comes straight out DS9. I’ll probably keep watching the show, just to see how it ends, but I’m not particularly excited about it.
Comment by Adamv — July 29, 2007 @ 9:39 pm
I actually think BSG was pretty great right up until the third season, which saw a huge change in the quality of the writing. For one thing, they started taking themselves too seriously, what with the “Look at how artsy and dramatic and gritty and DRAMATIC and um..dramatic! we are…) It started to feel like I was watching an Evanescence music video or something. Add to that that the stories started to get even more simplistic and obvious (this was a problem before too, but not to the same extent). Meanwhile, the parts of the show that WERE intriguing (Cylontology, the identity of the Six in Baltar’s head, etc.) started to get stale and didn’t really go anywhere new. It all added up to a show that is now, unfortunately, WAY overhyped.
But, I still have to say that the first couple of seasons were pretty promising. It’s too bad, really…If only they hadn’t listened to their own good press, maybe they wouldn’t have started taking themselves so seriously.
(PS - BSG fans always respond that “of course” the show is dark, it’s about a nuclear apocalypse. My response is…The Sopranos was about mobsters, but it was deeply funny at the same time that it was realistic and gripping. BSG, on the other hand, has entirely lost its perspective and its sense of humour. Too bad…)
Comment by Dave — November 24, 2007 @ 4:47 am
Yes that’s true, the suspense was really gone and the show focused on over the top theatrics by the actors and the sense that they were really in danger was gone
the Cylons were obsessively engaged in their wacky antics and no longer chasing the humans really
and the humans were engaged in a long running soap opera
Comment by O_Deus — November 24, 2007 @ 9:21 pm
I guess one could sum this all up by saying the relaunched BSG is the poor man’s DS9.
Comment by Pat O — December 23, 2007 @ 6:40 pm
Sci-Fi Channel is attempting to hype the last season of the “re-imagined” BG to no end, with a number of “celebrities” praising the show (the funniest was Scott Ian of the band Anthrax, who seems to specialize in being a poseur).I see this blog dares to speak the truth about Battlestar Fembotica. It’s like getting a drink of warm distilled water when you’re expecting (and craving) a glass of cold spring water—utterly tepid. I doubt that bringing in characters like the Seraphs or even Count Iblis (who would Ron Moore get to play him?—dear me, is that the Cylon’s God after all?) could liven up the pace of the show.(The only thing I wonder is how John Colicos’ Baltar would have treated Number Six. That’s all.)
Comment by go fingure — April 1, 2008 @ 4:11 am
All I know is the shaky and constantly changing camera angles makes the show unwatchable for me.
Comment by Dave A — April 4, 2008 @ 2:39 am
Dude, the Battlestar Galactica on Scifi sucks,seriously.They are talking about revealing the “truth”.WHAT TRUTH?..Whats the point?..The whole series seem endeless…GET TO IT,GET TO IT,GET TO IT..Pleeeeese.
Comment by SomeOne — April 11, 2008 @ 2:40 pm
BSG fanatics are impossible to reason with. The show had unused potential the first two seasons. I spent many a time frustrated at the stupid solutions to problems or the shoe horning in of conflicts that didn’t make any sense. Season 3 represented a complete collapse of the series. I was bored trying to watch the second episode of season 4. I’m just watching now for the train wreck aspects.
Comment by Terrahawk — April 13, 2008 @ 10:58 pm
The true test of how much the show sucks–try watching it again. Better yet, pick any episode and try watching it again. The show has zero replay value. It is just awful. Tacky, trite, and timid. Please make it stop.
Comment by Alexander — May 23, 2008 @ 2:37 am
Like people said before, first 2 seasons were pretty cool and then it got damn pointless. I watch it now just to get to the end.
It was never perfect or the best show ever tho. Really light on sci-fi and some actors in it are pretty damn awful. One is the one playing that Helo character. Guy has the face of a raging bull on all the time. I could understand it if he really was pissed off in the script, but when a guy is making tea or something with that face on, something is seriously wrong with he’s acting skills.
Adama is really good tho, especially when he is pissed off.
Comment by Anonymous — May 29, 2008 @ 10:17 am
The first season and a half of BSG were pure gold.
The writers had a winning formula, and decided to throw away the gritty realism to be relevant and artisy. By the time the show became Battlestar Iraq, I stopped watching it. The character Helo symbolizes everything about the show — at first he was completely badass, but by season three he was a wimpering pussy.
Making the humans become friends with Cylons was the worst idea ever. They should have tried a different direction, like having Baltar grow into an evil character, become worshiped as a God among the Cylons, and become the show’s primary antagonist, unintentionally serving God’s plan by the end of the show.
I agree completely with the initial post — the sense of urgency is gone, and the show now isn’t much different than The Real World. I think of BSG like a sports star that has a lot of promise and fizzles out because of its own doing, like Shawn Kemp.
Comment by J.H. bowden — May 30, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
When a show can’t accept its own premise, especially when it’s as solid as “The last remnant of humanity fleeing a machine genocide” it’s pretty much doomed itself through its own arrogance
Comment by O_Deus — May 30, 2008 @ 6:21 pm
DS9 was a poor man’s Babylon 5. I would have to say that BSG does it all better than DS9 did but neither comes close to what Babylon 5 was able to do.
Why in the world you go to television to find genius in the first place?
Comment by Anonymous — June 6, 2008 @ 1:04 pm
What Babylon 5 was able to do? You mean be pretentious, uneven, rip off Lord of the Rings in space?
Comment by O_Deus — June 6, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
Unable to take it silence anymore, I googled BSG sucks to find out if I am alone. Guess not.
The show has devolved into overwrought melodrama, fueled by plot-holes big enough to jump a Battlestar through, and coated in a unpalatable glaze of mystical babblings.
I can forgive the minor glitches and offences (Grace Park’s “acting”)… we can’t detect Cylons … err what about glowing LEDs in their spines, doesn’t that give them away? (”Doc, every time I have sex the room is filled with an eerie red glow,” says Tyrol to Cottle, “I noticed it the first time I whacked off as a teenager.) Every show has them.
What I can’t forgive is the sloppy plotting. Things happen because, well, we don’t really know why. It must be God’s or the Gods’ will, or, if you are more agnostic, destiny. Case in point, the Eye of Jupiter story arc where it is pointed out that the odds of the Cylons and Humans arriving in-system exactly at the time of the sun’s going nova is infinitesimal. We all have an “Ooooo spoooooky, destiny” moment, shudder, and then it is dropped. Dropped, not explained, just dropped. Ronald Moore talked about being dis-satisfied with the technobabble of Star Trek. And rightfully so. Propelling the plot by reversing the flux capacitor to destabilize the tachyon emissions so as to reverse the shield harmonics and thereby set up an explosive resonance in the warp core is just silly and dramatically unsatisfying. Trouble is, BSG has the same set of plotting issues, they just use mystical/god babble instead of techno-babble.
So, do the Cylons know the future “This has all happened before” “You’ll find Kobol” or not. Is the missing ingredient in making Cylon babies indeed LOVE, true love (whomever came up with that juvenile clunker should be blasted out an airlock), why are the remaining five models revealed by a temple whose construction pre-dates the Cylon race. Enquiring minds increasingly could give a rat’s ass. All I know is that the show is writing checks that it is going to take one helluva deus ex machina at the end to cash.
On the plus side, when the show steers clear of melodrama and mysticism, it can be truly fantastic.
It’s maddening. So good, yet so bad.
Comment by Peaks — June 17, 2008 @ 1:47 am
Right, this is why so many SciFi shows have devolved into gibberish, because doing Destiny, Chosen One, Deus Ex Machine stories is so much easier than Science or thinking logically
just borrow from some myths, throw in some Deepak Chopra and you’re set
Comment by O_Deus — June 17, 2008 @ 2:02 am
Glad I’m not along in this view.
The series has its minor problems. Tyrol: “Doc, why is the room filled with an eerie red glow when I whack off.” Cottle: “You have a row of LEDs up your spine. Now piss off, I’m trying to develop a Cylon test.” And then there is Grace Park’s acting …
But it’s the major problems that ruin it for me. The plotting is horrible. Ronald Moore wanted to get away from the techobabble that plagued Star Trek. And rightfully so. Reversing the flux capacitor to start a tachyon resonance cascade to overload the reactor core is a dramatically unsatisfying method of moving the plot along. (Not to mention just silly.) But he has merely substituted god and mysticism babble for technobabble. Why do things happen? God willed it, it’s destiny, dreams and visions revealed it, yadda yadda.
Can the Cylons know the future? “You’ll find Kobol” “All this has happening before” (if so, are they just toying with the humans) is the secret ingredient to making Cylon babies true love (whomever came up with that clunker should be blasted out the nearest airlock)? Inquiring minds increasingly give a rat’s ass. There has to be one incredible deus ex machina at the end to tie this all together.
Sad thing is, when the series avoids mysticism and melodrama, it is amazingly good.
So great, yet so awful.
Comment by Peaks — June 17, 2008 @ 2:04 am
The new BSG sucks.
’nuff said.
Comment by Kibble — August 2, 2008 @ 12:37 am